Defending Champ Mac talks to the Dacoity Cup Blog
Its always good to get inside the mind of a real life winner and found out what makes them tick. And having quickly established that its pork pies and mars bars that makes Mac tick, we started talking about other things...
What was the secret of your win in the Bandit Trophy last year?
I tried a hitherto unknown strategy to the banditti, and used the flat cut bit of grass between the tee and the hole. I found that my game improved dramatically from this untouched pristine area of the course. In addition I restricted my calorie intake to 4000 the day before which gave me an edge. My Zen was in the right place, I changed the grip on my shaft, and most importantly I scored my own scorecard on account that Dave was so pissed he couldn’t see. Mike Dunbar had me up for a 6am unscheduled fire alarm which put my mood in the right place to give me a competitive edge.
How did the shoulder surgery affect your preparations?
If I’m honest a lot less than I may have claimed the night before.
Tell us about your return to (in the loosest possible meaning of the word) "fitness". What can other middle aged golfers learn from the way you recovered in time to perform at the Belfry? A diet of Pork Pies, Laphroaig, Mars bars, extended sedentary sessions in front of whatever shit is on TV, and regular beatings from the neighbours au pair (he’s Turkish). However this year you will see a leaner meaner fitter Mac. Having rebuilt a house, dug an acre of ancient rainforest, chopped 30 (yes 30) trees by hand, and taken 3 tonnes of rubbish to the dump I’m in fine shape.
My preparations have also included careful manipulation of my club handicap to a magnificent 21. Full verified documented evidence will be provided.
Will you be able to become the first person ever to retain the Bandit Trophy this year?
It is a tough ask and the bookies have me as a rank outsider, but my preparations have been sound and I will endeavour to win the trophy again. You are entering the dynasty of the Mac - be afraid.
Talking of the bookies, Mac is now sponsored by BetWhenYourDrunk.com and he has kindly provided details of the betting on this years Bandit Trophy, with BWYD.com's odds on the far right of the table below. When I asked him whether BWYD.com's odds were at all influenced by the fact that they were sponsoring him, he got rather flustered and went to the bar and bought me two more drinks and changed the subject. I'm sure there is nothing untoward going on. Current odds are shown below. (It is a screen shot so you might need to zoom in on your browser to be able to read it all.)
Have you learned to pronounce the word "Brabazon" yet?
No! Have you tried to get an English passport?
You have a reputation for getting drunk and buying useless golfing equipment on the shopping channel late at night. What have you bought recently? Funny you should mention that. Yes some of my past purchases didn't work out that well, although I did manage to sell all of them on to Dave Talbot. But my latest buy is actually really useful, it really is the only club guaranteed to keep you out of the woods - I'll show you.
Mac then gave me a very graphic demonstration of the product, from which I have not yet fully recovered. Some images are burned all too permanently into the minds eye and seeing Mac use his new device was unfortunately for me one of those occasions. Hopefully if he uses it whilst playing with you, he will be more discrete. I can't really describe it, the memory is too disturbing, you will have to look at it for yourself:
(if link doesn't work put "Uroclub" into YouTube)
