Bandit Trophy Archive

Before there was a blog, there was the Bandit Trophy...

The details of the first few events are lost in the mists of time. We know they all took place at East Dorset GC, and we think Dave Talbot won the first one in 1999. It was (one of) his stag weekend(s) so anything is possible. Details of the more recent events are a bit clearer.

Bandit Trophy Roll of Honour:

2018  A McDougall      Dudsbury                                   33 pts

2017  P Cartwright      Woodbury Park                          39 pts

2016  K Hicks              Bowood                                     34 pts (won playoff)

2015  A McDougall       Belfry (Brabazon)                      33 pts

2014  S Hay                 St Pierre Chepstow (Mathern)    36pts

2013  D Ives                Celtic Manor (Twenty Ten)         24pts (won playoff)

2012  D Talbot            Bowood Golf & Country Club      26pts

2011  P Cartwright      Wokefield Park                          37pts

2010  D Ives                Abbey Hotel Redditch                32 pts

2009  A McDougall       St Pierre Chepstow (Mathern)    30 pts (won playoff on Old Course)

2008  P Cartwright      Donnington Valley                      37 pts

2007  D Ives                Abbey Hotel Redditch                 38 pts

2006  D Talbot            Donnington Grove                       40 pts

2005  D Ives                Tewkesbury Park                        41 pts

2004  D Talbot            Belmont, Hereford     

2003  A McDougall       East Dorset GC

The Bandit Trophy

You will notice that nobody has ever retained the trophy. After the 20th Bandit Trophy in 2018, Dave Talbot, Alan McDougall and Derek Ives each have four wins, and Paul Cartwright both has three, but nobody has ever won two in a row.

The Johann van der Merwe trophy was first presented in 2017 in memory of our friend Johann. It is given to the player who by consensus played the Shot of the Week. This was first awarded in 2013, and Johann won it himself twice before the award was dedicated to him.

Johann van der Merwe

Shot of the Week Winners (Johann van der Merwe Trophy):

2018   Paul Stone for holing a long putt running from the lower tier to the upper tier of the 8th hole at Dudsbury
2017   Ken Hicks for holing out from 60 yards at Woodbury Park

2016   Mike Dunbar for chipping in from short of the 14th green at Bowood

2015  John Dangerfield: 6 iron from 138 yds to inches at the Belfry (Brabazon course).

2014  Johann van der Merwe for a 6 iron to 8 feet on the 17th at St Pierre Old Course. 

2013  Johann van der Merwe for chipping in for a birdie at the par 3 6th hole on the Montgomerie course at Celtic Manor. 

2018 Dacoity Cup Day 3

The rain started in the middle of the night, carried on through breakfast on Sunday, and just wouldn't stop. It was the Belfry all over again. Lengthy discussions took place over whether to play, how long to play for, and whether the results should even count at all. Four players (thankfully two from each side) called in the union and refused to play.

The captains press ganged their remaining players into participating in order to get a valid result. Both teams seemed to believe they could win, though with only 6 matches to be played, ROW were especially confident of getting the 3 points out of 6 they needed to reach the 121/2 that would now be enough to regain the Dacoity Cup. 

With Dudsbury Golf Club kindly agreeing to provide free buggies for everyone, it was agreed to play matches over 3 holes, the 10th, 11th and 18th, with 2 fourballs and 4 singles. The buggies meant that everyone would be a bit less wet and a bit quicker to finish (in theory).

While the eight intrepid golfers headed out bravely seeking sporting achievement, noble endeavour and honourable support of their captains, the four who had refused to take part sat in the clubhouse in shame, quietly coming to terms with how they had let their team mates down.

Day 3 Fourballs:

Hues & Hicks 10 beat Ramshaw & Talbot 8
Cartwright & Ives 4 lost to McDougall & Brownlee 6

So the fourball matches were split meaning ROW maintained their slim one point advantage going into the final four singles matches.

ROW 101/2 England 91/2

Day 3 Singles:

Hicks 5 beat   Ramshaw 4
Cartwright 2 lost to Talbot 4

With the first two matches split, the ROW lead the overall contest 111/2 to 101/2 and needed just one more point from the last two to clinch victory. 

Ives 2 lost to McDougall 4 - Rest of the World win the Dacoity Cup!

Again it was skipper McDougall who did the business and clinched a rain sodden victory on a shortened Day 3, just as at the Belfry in 2015. Dave Hues managed a win in the last match but it wasn't enough for England to save the day.  

Hues 5 beat Brownlee 2

Final Score: Rest of the World 121/2  England 111/2

ROW won the Dacoity Cup for the second time. England will be determined to win it back in 2019 but everyone will be hoping for just as close a game, and dry weather!

Paul Stone hits Shot of the Week

The Johann van der Merwe Memorial Trophy for the Shot of the Week was awarded to Paul Stone for his long putt on Saturday on the 8th hole. Having finished on the front of green, Paul sent his ball all the way up to the top tier and straight into the cup at the back of the green to clinch a deserved reward.

Rest of the World celebrate their win

2018 Dacoity Cup Day 2

Day two of this year's Dacoity Cup arrived and the narrowness of England's overnight lead seemed to encourage the ROW team who appeared very relaxed as they set off from the first tee. It must have been something about the morning spent in the spa pool that put Mac and Dave T in such a good mood.

Talbot & McDougall leading off on Saturday

England on the other hand struggled to maintain their form. Their day was epitomised by star player Dave Hues who having been cut a single shot after recording 40 points on Friday, could not repeat that superb performance and scored 15 Stableford points less than the previous day. In fact Paul Cartwright was the only member of the England team to improve on his Day 1 score.

Ed Morell addresses the ball aggressively on the first tee

Day 2 Fourballs:

Hues & Morell  47 lost to Talbot & McDougall 60
Ives & Hicks 55 halved with Ramshaw & Brownlee 55
Cartwright & Hay 48 lost to Stone & Dunbar 53

ROW didn't lose any of the three matches and took the lead:

ROW 61/2  England 51/2

The singles draw worked well for England, with their top three scorers all getting a win  (their lowest two scorers would not have beaten anyone from ROW). This enabled them to split the singles 3-3 and stay just one point behind ROW at the end of Day 2.  

Day 2 Singles:

Ives 29 beat  Talbot 27
Hay 17 lost to Stone 24
Morell 22 lost to Dunbar 29
Hicks 26 beat Brownlee 25
Cartwright 31 beat Ramshaw 30
Hues 25 lost to McDougall 33

ROW 91/2  England 81/2

It was skipper McDougall winning the last match that ensured a lead for ROW going into Day 3. They had only had a lead after Day 2 once before - at the Belfry in 2015. On Day 3 that year at the Belfry it rained...and rained...hard.

1st Green, Dudsbury Golf Club

2018 Bandit Trophy

Mac wins his 4th Bandit Trophy

Alan McDougall joined the exclusive club of three people who have won the Bandit Trophy four times with a decisive victory at Dudsbury Golf Club. 

Another warm dry day greeted the golfers, with Dave Hues remaining the favourite after a 40 point round on Friday, even with a one shot handicap cut. But his form mysteriously evaporated and he finished in a tie for 8th, leaving others to fight for the Trophy.

Not much wrong with that one! - Bookies' favourite Dave Hues teeing off on the first hole

Vid Brownlee wins Nearest the Pin

The first prize of the day was won by Vid Brownlee, who got his tee shot closer than anyone else to the 8th hole.

Paul Cartwright retains Longest Drive Title

Paul claimed the longest drive for the second year running with a 280 yard missile fired up the 18th fairway. It went 11 yards past his nearest rival Dave Talbot. 

The choice of the 18th for the longest drive competition was controversial but Paul would have won on the par 5 6th too, where he hit another exocet to the fairway and was just short of the greenside bunker in two.

Dave T hits another big drive...but not quite big enough

Mac was extremely consistent. After 37 points on Friday, he managed 33 on Saturday, which was enough to hold off the challenge of defending champion Paul Cartwright, who was in contention until finding trouble at the par 3 15th and then water on his approach to 16. Though he found a winning drive on 18, it was too late to catch Alan.

There was a tremendous debut performance from newcomer Ricardo Ramshaw, who finished in third place with 30 points. Mike Dunbar managed to bring some of his Friday form into Saturday - enough to finish fourth with 29 points, after scoring 33 on Friday.

Macca looked good right from the start

Bandit Trophy Results 2018

1st  Alan McDougall      33 points
2nd Paul Cartwright      31
3rd Ricardo Ramshaw   30

Mike Dunbar                 29
Derek Ives                    29
Dave Talbot                  27
Ken Hicks                     26
Vid Brownlee                25
Dave Hues                    25
Paul Stone                    24
Ed Morell                      22
Stuart Hay                    17

So Mac joins the four win club and wore his Hawaiian shirt with even more pride than usual. Still nobody has retained the Bandit Trophy - could Mac be the first to achieve this with another win next year? 

The Bandit Golfer of 2018 - Alan McDougall

2018 Dacoity Cup Day 1

Weeks of hot and dry weather preceded this year's Dacoity Cup, creating fast running conditions on brown fairways at Dudsbury Golf Club near Bournemouth. This is the scene that greeted the teams at the first tee on Friday:

1st Hole Dudsbury Golf Club

The format for the Dacoity Cup was unchanged with three fourball matches (combined Stableford scores) getting things underway: 

Day 1 Fourball Results:

Cartwright & Morell 56 lost to Talbot & Dunbar 59
Ives & Hues 70 beat Stone & Brownlee 32
Hay & Hicks 59 lost to McDougall & Ramshaw 63

Rest of the World 2 England 1

This was the first time since The Belfry in 2015 that ROW had led after the first set of matches. Back then they went on to win when the final day was cut short by torrential rain. This year the forecast for Sunday was pretty bad - Could history be repeating itself?

Vidal Brownlee blasting off at the first hole

As well as the pairs playing each other, each captain submitted their six man singles order which was sealed until after the rounds were completed. When the secret draw was revealed, the results were as follows:

Day 1 Singles:

Hay 29pts lost to McDougall 37
Ives 30 beat Ramshaw 26
Hicks 30 beat Talbot 26
Cartwright 30 lost to Brownlee 32
Morell 26 beat Stone 20
Hues 40 beat Dumbar 33

Two great rounds by Dave Hues and Alan McDougall, making them the favourites for Saturday's Bandit Trophy, but the team situation was very evenly poised at the end of Day One.

England 5 Rest of the World 4

2017 Dacoity Cup Day 3

Morell Boost for England

After a weekend of dreadful weather it was England whose spirits were lifted as Eddie Morell gained the victory clinching point in the Dacoity Cup.

The final day's matches were reduced to nine holes due to the very late finish on Saturday and the predictions of even worse weather to follow on Sunday afternoon.

Rest of the World had it all to do, trailing by five points overnight and needing to win 7 1/2 points out of nine available on Day 3 to win the Cup. England needed only 2 more points to reach the 13 1/2 needed to retain the trophy.

Fourballs:

Hicks & Cartwright 25pts beat Stone & Dunbar 20pts - England move within a point of retaining the Dacoity Cup: England 12 1/2 - ROW 6 1/2

Hues & Morell 32 lost to Talbot & Brownlee 35
England 12 1/2 - ROW 7 1/2

Hay & Ives 19 lost to C McDougall & Dunbar 26
England 12 1/2 - ROW 8 1/2

A late rearguard action sees Rest of the World take the final Fourballs 2-1 and keep the match alive going into the singles, but they couldn't afford any more slip ups.

Singles:

Morell 18 beat Talbot 16 - England retain the Dacoity Cup!

In the first singles match, Ed Morell in his Dacoity Cup debut, secures the point England need.

England 13 1/2 - ROW 8 1/2

Hues 14 lost to A McDougall 19 - delighted Mac does the double over Dave.

 

Hay 7 halved with C McDougall 7 - an extraordinarily low score to gain a half but Stu with just 7 points, gains the half to win the Dacoity Cup match outright taking England to 14 pts

England 14 - ROW 10

Cartwright 12 lost to Brownlee 19 - Well done Vid for beating this year's Bandit.

Ives 12 beat Stone 8

Hicks 13 beat Dunbar 12
 

Final Score:

England 16pts     Rest of the World 11pts

 

So England celebrated, and Rest of the World were left once again wondering who they could get to change their nationality to even things up for next year.

 

Captain Ken raises the trophy with his England team once more

 

Well played everyone - See you at Dudsbury in 2018!

2017 Bandit Trophy

Hat Trick for Hoss

"Did it rain on Saturday? I didn't notice! Was it a really slow round? Seemed to go by in a flash to me!"

If there are two things golfers cannot stand it's rain and slow play, but neither bothered Paul Cartwright, who scored a superb 21 points on the front nine with some solid straight hitting and by holing some putts. He then hung on despite some erratic shots on the back nine, including two balls in two lakes on successive holes. Some good recoveries and some very lucky escapes enabled him to score points on every hole and claim his third Bandit Trophy victory.

Final scores

1. Paul Cartwright       39pts

2. Dave Talbot             32

3. Alan McDougall        28

4. Edward Morell         26

5= Derek Ives, Dave Hues, Mike Dunbar all scored 25

8. Ken Hicks                21

9= Vid Brownlee and Stuart Hay each had 20

11. Paul Stone             19

12. Colin McDougall     18

Paul also took the Longest Drive at the 11th with a drive just left of the marker post, thirty yards past his nearest challenger which was Dave Talbot in the group in front.

Nearest the Pin took place at the 5th and was won by Derek who got to 18 feet from the hole off the tee. Several others hit the green but no-one beat Derek.

2017 Dacoity Cup Day 2

On Day 2 of this year's Dacoity Cup it rained. And rained. And rained. Everyone was wet through just from a few minutes on the putting green, and as the day went on it got wetter and wetter. This contributed to a slow pace of play which resulted in the rounds taking more than five and a half hours! 

Nobody enjoyed being out in the pouring rain for any longer than necessary and there were some frustrated golfers by the time darkness fell, particularly as they were still out on the course when that actually happened. 

Despite teeing off at 2.30pm, the players were still late for dinner scheduled for 8pm, and this on top of the dreadful conditions made for some unhappy golfers arriving back at their hotel - never keep a mediocre golfer from his food!  

So who coped with the conditions best? Here are the results:

Fourballs:

Hay & Hicks 41 lost to Talbot & A McDougall 60
Ives & Morell 51 beat Brownlee & Stone 39
Cartwright & Hues 64 beat C McDougall & Dunbar 43

England 61/2 Rest of the World 51/2

So England edge the fourballs and take the lead. And then the draw for the singles was revealed:

Singles:

Hay 20 beat C McDougall 18
Ives 25 beat Stone 19
Cartwright 39 beat Talbot 32
Hues 25 beat Brownlee 20
Hicks 21 lost to A McDougall 28
Morell 26 beat Dunbar 25

England 111/2 Rest of the World 61/2

England win the day's singles 5-1 to open up a good lead going into the final day. Genius captaincy by Ken Hicks got them an almost ideal set up of matches. Talbot's more laissez faire approach had back fired. With a more fortunate draw, ROW might have won the session 31/2 to 2 1/2, but as it turned out England instead blew it open by taking 5 points out of 6.

During the day, and despite the appalling conditions, Ken made the shot of the week by holing out from 60 yards, to take the Johann van der Merwe trophy.

2017 Dacoity Cup Day 1

The Dacoity Cup visited Devon for the first time, to find the course at Woodbury Park in superb condition. Immediately the challenge was clear for all to see, with the clubhouse and terrace overlooking the beautiful but daunting looking par 3 18th hole, a 130 yard shot across a pond to a green with water on three sides.



18th hole at Woodbury Park

Captains Ken Hicks and Dave Talbot had little decision making to do for the first day, with pairings largely decided by who needed to use a buggy, such was the extent of injuries and age related decay within both teams. Ken seemed to have spent slightly longer thinking about his order for the secret singles, but would that mean he picked a more successful permutation? Time would tell.

 

Fourballs

Captain Ken led the way by going out in the first match with Derek Ives, a steady pair in contrast to the flamboyant Rest of the World combination of Alan McDougall & Mike Dunbar. Scottish flair won out, while Stu Hay and Dave Hues won the second match, beating Paul Stone and Dacoity Cup rookie Colin McDougall, who it's fair to say struggled on his first appearance. The final fourball was evenly matched and ended in a half so the scores were level after the first set of matches:

Ives & Hicks 48 lost to A McDougall & Dunbar 55
Hay & Hues 66 beat C McDougall & Stone 33
Morell & Cartwright 62 halved with Talbot & Brownlee 62

England  11/2  Rest of the World  11/2

Singles

Both Captains had submitted their order for the singles matches, which are not revealed until after play has finished. Here's how they came out on day 1:

Cartwright 37 beat Dunbar 18
Hay 32 lost to Brownlee 37
Morell 25 lost to Stone 30
Hicks 19 beat C McDougall 3
Hues 34 lost to A McDougall 37
Ives 29 beat Talbot 26

So honours even after day one:

England 41/2, Rest of the World 41/2

2016 Dacoity Cup Day Three

Hicks leads England to Record Win

Results of Fourballs on Day 3:

Hicks & Ives  60 beat Brownlee & Stone 53
Hay & Hues 49 beat McDougall & Van der Merwe 45
Cartwright & Knight 61 beat Dunbar & Talbot 50

Some big scores from the English pairs, giving them a clean sweep 3-0 and enough points to claim back the Dacoity Cup without even needing to win any singles matches!


England 14 Rest of the World 7


England regain the Dacoity Cup

Singles results Day 3:
Hay 25 lost to Talbot 26
Hues 24 lost to McDougall 29
Knight 30 beat Brownlee 28
Hicks 33 beat Van der Merwe 16
Cartwright 31 beat Dunbar 24
Ives 27 beat Stone 25

England won the singles 4-2 to complete the biggest win in Dacoity Cup history. A proud moment for all conquering captain Ken Hicks who lifted his second trophy of the weekend. The Rest of the World could only look on as England celebrated their massive win. They will be planning their revenge for Woodbury Park near Exeter in a years time.

Final Result:

England 18 Rest of the World 9 

2016 Bandit Trophy

No Hiccups Hicks Up to the Task



Ken Hicks - Bandit of the Year

Ken Hicks became the third player to clinch the Bandit Trophy in a playoff after one of the closest finishes ever. Playing alongside Vidal Brownlee, Ken got off to a solid start and made the turn with 18 points, 2 ahead of Vid. Ken maintained a three pojnt advantage with just three holes to play but six points in two holes for Vid left them deadlocked teeing off 18. Both managed a steady six for a point, and they finished level on 34 each.


 

Meanwhile, elsewhere on the course, both Richard Knight and Alan McDougall were in the mix, both finishing just short of the leaders with 33 points. A 9 hole playoff was arranged for the following day to sort out the places. 

Bandit Trophy Results:
1= Ken Hicks 34  Vid Brownlee 34
3= Richard Knight 33 Alan McDougall 33
5= Dave Hues 31 Paul Cartwright 31
7   Mike Dunbar 30
8   Derek Ives 29
9   Stuart Hay 26
10 Johann Van der Merwe 24
11 Dave Talbot 23
12 Paul Stone 21

Ken and Vid were determined to keep as many prizes as possible.
Ken won the Nearest the Pin at the 8th, hitting his tee shot to 6 feet.
Vid claimed the Longest Drive at the 10th with a good straight 3 wood.

9 Hole Playoff on Sunday

The two leaders were paired together again on Sunday so it was a true head to head. Vid was clearly affected by the tension, failing to score at the par 5 opener, allowing Ken to edge in front early. Vid soon composed himself however, paring the short third for 3 points and closing the gap. Ken found another gear at the par 5 6th, which he pared to open a 4 point lead with 3 to play. Vid gave it everything, playing the last three in 2 over for 8 points, but Ken matched him stroke for stroke and off his lower handicap still managed 7 points to win by three. Richard Knight pipped Macca in the playoff for third place. The Shot of the Week was awarded to Mike Dunbar for his chip in from off the front of the 14th green on Friday.

Playoff Result:

Ken Hicks 19
Vid Brownlee 16
Richard Knight 15
Alan McDougall 11






Richard Knight (3rd) and Vid Brownlee (Runner Up) either side of Bandit Trophy Winner 2016 Ken Hicks  

2016 Dacoity Cup Day 2

Fourballs Day Two:

Hicks & Hay 60 beat Brownlee & Van der Merwe 56
Hues & Ives 60 beat McDougall & Talbot 56
Cartwright & Knight 64 beat Dunbar & Stone 51

England 7 Rest of the World 5

A clean sweep of the pairs games for England with scoring much better than Day One. Probably something to do with playing off the right tees this time, making the course 300 yards shorter and 2 shots lower on the standard scratch score!!

Singles Day Two:

Ives 29 lost to McDougall 33
Hicks 34 beat Van der Merwe 24
Hay 26 beat Talbot 23
Knight 33 beat Dunbar 30
Hues 31 lost to Brownlee 34
Cartwright 31 beat Stone 21

England 11 Rest of the World 7

A 4-2 win in the singles for England completes the turn around from Day One, from a point behind to 4 points ahead. Captain Hicks led from the front with the joint highest score of the day and was inspired with his pairings for the fourballs.  The match ups in the singles worked well for England too. Even their lowest scorer Stu Hay won his match!

Pressure was now on the Rest of the World. Could they make a comeback? They would need to take 6.5 points out of 9 on the final day to retain the trophy.

2016 Dacoity Cup Day 1

Dacoity Cup Scores for Day 1:

The international golfing stars line up before the start of the 2016 Dacoity Cup

Fourballs:

Ives & Hay 49pts beat Brownlee & Talbot 46 pts
Cartwright & Hues 44 pts beat Stone & Van der Merwe 40 pts
Knight & Hicks 43 pts lost to Dunbar & McDougall 44 pts

England 2 Rest of the World 1

Singles:

Knight 27 beat Van der Merwe 20
Hay 18 lost to Stone 20
Ives 31 beat Talbot 18
Hues 22 lost to McDougall 25
Hicks 16 lost to Dunbar 19
Cartwright 22 lost to Brownlee 28

England 4 Rest of the World 5

A shock lead for the ROW after the first day, thanks to maximum points from the Scot(ish) pair of Dunbar (Elgin) and McDougall (Hampshire). Great score from Vid too helped the ROW win the singles 4-2 though it has to be said that it's not really a course that suits left handers!

New England skipper Ken Hicks already under pressure!

Exclusive Interview with Bandit Mac

Defending Champ Mac talks to the Dacoity Cup Blog

 

Its always good to get inside the mind of a real life winner and found out what makes them tick. And having quickly established that its pork pies and mars bars that makes Mac tick, we started talking about other things...

 

What was the secret of your win in the Bandit Trophy last year?

I tried a hitherto unknown strategy to the banditti, and used the flat cut bit of grass between the tee and the hole. I found that my game improved dramatically from this untouched pristine area of the course. In addition I restricted my calorie intake to 4000 the day before which gave me an edge. My Zen was in the right place, I changed the grip on my shaft, and most importantly I scored my own scorecard on account that Dave was so pissed he couldn’t see. Mike Dunbar had me up for a 6am unscheduled fire alarm which put my mood in the right place to give me a competitive edge.

 

How did the shoulder surgery affect your preparations?

If I’m honest a lot less than I may have claimed the night before.

  

Tell us about your return to (in the loosest possible meaning of the word) "fitness". What can other middle aged golfers learn from the way you recovered in time to perform at the Belfry? A diet of Pork Pies, Laphroaig, Mars bars, extended sedentary sessions in front of whatever shit is on TV, and regular beatings from the neighbours au pair (he’s Turkish). However this year you will see a leaner meaner fitter Mac. Having rebuilt a house, dug an acre of ancient rainforest, chopped 30 (yes 30) trees by hand, and taken 3 tonnes of rubbish to the dump I’m in fine shape.

 

My preparations have also included careful manipulation of my club handicap to a magnificent 21. Full verified documented evidence will be provided.

 

Will you be able to become the first person ever to retain the Bandit Trophy this year?

It is a tough ask and the bookies have me as a rank outsider, but my preparations have been sound and I will endeavour to win the trophy again. You are entering the dynasty of the Mac - be afraid.

 

Talking of the bookies, Mac is now sponsored by BetWhenYourDrunk.com and he has kindly provided details of the betting on this years Bandit Trophy, with BWYD.com's odds on the far right of the table below. When I asked him whether BWYD.com's odds were at all influenced by the fact that they were sponsoring him, he got rather flustered and went to the bar and bought me two more drinks and changed the subject. I'm sure there is nothing untoward going on. Current odds are shown below. (It is a screen shot so you might need to zoom in on your browser to be able to read it all.)

 

 

Have you learned to pronounce the word "Brabazon" yet? 

No! Have you tried to get an English passport?

 

You have a reputation for getting drunk and buying useless golfing equipment on the shopping channel late at night. What have you bought recently? Funny you should mention that. Yes some of my past purchases didn't work out that well, although I did manage to sell all of them on to Dave Talbot. But my latest buy is actually really useful, it really is the only club guaranteed to keep you out of the woods - I'll show you.

 

Mac then gave me a very graphic demonstration of the product, from which I have not yet fully recovered. Some images are burned all too permanently into the minds eye and seeing Mac use his new device was unfortunately for me one of those occasions. Hopefully if he uses it whilst playing with you, he will be more discrete. I can't really describe it, the memory is too disturbing, you will have to look at it for yourself:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncjYnLgxyCI

(if link doesn't work put "Uroclub" into YouTube)

 

OUT vote leaves Dacoity Cup in chaos

OUT vote leaves Dacoity Cup in chaos

The decision by English voters to leave Europe has already thrown the future of golf's least prestigious event into doubt. It has been suggested that England could no longer participate under current rules, and the Rest of the World would have to play someone else. It has also been suggested that because Wales voted to leave as well, that they should join the English team. It was then pointed out that Wales doesn't have any players so it would make no difference anyway.

 

Scotland have demanded that they be given independence because they voted to Remain. This could result in Scotland replacing England in the Dacoity Cup, with England only able to enter as part of the Rest of the World team. Many people in Ireland, are now demanding their own referendum to decide whether to join with England or continue as part of the Rest of the World.

 

The vote has already had consequences in England. Skipper Derek Ives has resigned after officially supporting the campaign for England to Remain. However he made very few speeches during the campaign and referred only vaguely to the notion of international co-operation. Some of his fellow countrymen have suggested that his office deliberately sabotaged the Remain campaign by making him keep a low profile. In a statement outside his official residence, Ives announced his intention to stand down, saying that the England team required "fresh leadership".

The Committee have already accepted his resignation and appointed Ken Hicks to take over for this years event.

 

Some have questioned whether the Spanish and African players would be able to enter England in order to take part at Bowood, due to changes in visa and passport rules.

 

President of the Official Dacoity Cup Organising Committee (ODCOC), Split Bladder, questioned whether the tournament could continue in its current format. He said that negotiations towards a new playing agreement should start straight away and not wait for a new English captain to take office.