Sunday, 20 July 2014

2014 Dacoity Cup Official Preview Part 2

A message from Split Bladder, President of ODCOC:


"On behalf of the Official Dacoity Cup Organising Committee, I would like to welcome you all to St Pierre Chepstow for this year's Dacoity Cup weekend. I know each and every one of you has spent several minutes honing your game specifically for this event. 
 
It is a very busy month for golf in Wales. At the beginning of July the Celebrity Cup was held at Celtic Manor Resort - a team event featuring many individuals not at all famed for their golfing ability.
 
This week, the prestigious links at Royal Porthcawl plays host to the Senior Open Championship, in which many golfers whose best days are 20-30 years behind them try desperately to get their hands on some silverware.
 
The Dacoity Cup weekend combines both of these, with team and individual competitions featuring both amateurs you won't have heard of and at the same time, has-beens.
 
I would like to thank our sponsors for once again supporting the event. Tipples of Hindhead are renowned for reasonable value wines and above average service, and we are grateful to them for the redundant stock they supply for prizes. Betwhileyouredrunk.com are a most reputable and fair betting company who we are proud to be associated with.
 
Finally I wish everyone luck for both their negotiations with the handicap committee and for the golf itself. May the best man win the Bandit Trophy, and may England win the Dacoity Cup!"


Ways to stop Derek Ives winning again

No. 6: "Play through"




























 
Spot the difference
Sat in the spike bar after your round waiting for the last slow fourball to come in? We have just the thing for you. You could easily spend hours trying to spot the difference between these action photos of two top golfers. Good luck.

Paul Cartwright


Phil Mickelson

How to win under pressure, by Dave Talbot
So you've played 12 holes in the Bandit Trophy and you've got a good score going. You know if you can keep it going for the rest of your round it could be you holding the Bandit Trophy this year. It's easy to melt under that sort of pressure, so throw away your StrokeSaver, switch off your GPS Device, toss your lucky ball marker into the lake. What you need is a cool head, the ability to be decisive, and a clear game plan you can stick to when things get tight on the back nine with silverware at stake (not to mention the winnings from that bet you placed on yourself with Betwhileyouredrunk.com at 2am last night). 
 
 4 time Bandit Trophy winner and some say a future Rest of the World Captain, Dave Talbot (pictured), the other Dungannon Cannon, knows how to finish off a good round (as long as his leg isn't playing up), so we asked him to draw on his experience of winning and tell you how to navigate your way round the closing holes on the Mathern Course this year.
 




13th - 340yds Par 4
"A water hazard runs across this fairway diagonally from right to left, so you have to decide whether you can make the carry or lay up and go for the green with a longer club. I usually twat it."
14th - 422yds Par 4
"This hole also has a water hazard cutting across at about 230 yards so you have to really twat it. And then the second shot is uphill to an elevated green, so you have to twat that as well."
15th - 394 yards Par 4
"Plenty of open space here, which is why this is the Longest Drive competition hole. There is no option but to twat it"
16th - 362yds Par 4
"The fairway is a lot higher than the tee, up a steep slope, so make sure you twat it."
17th - 373yds Par 4
"It's about 240 to carry the only fairway bunker. If you play to the left of it you can be blocked out by trees on your approach so better to twat it right over the top."
18th - 184yds Par 3
"Nice short hole to finish, slightly uphill to a green protected by bunkers front and short right, and mounds around the back and left. If the pin is at the back of the green, just twat it, but if the pin is at the front between the bunkers you need to be really precise, but I still just twat it anyway."
 
There you go. It's easy to see how Dave has brought home the Bandit Trophy 4 separate times. Let's hope it works for you too. 

Let the golf begin...

So what awaits us in this years Dacoity Cup and Bandit Trophy?
In 1982 Greg Norman drove the 362 yard 10th on the Old Course with a 3 wood and went on to win. On the other hand, amateur Arwyn Griffiths once stood on the 18th tee needing a par 3 to record a course record 63 - he walked off with an eleven.
Will the Dacoity Cup competitors follow in the footsteps of Greg or Arwyn?
I think we all know the answer.
 

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

2014 Dacoity Cup Official Preview Part 1

Bandit Trophy's second time at St Pierre

Apparently the Crown Jewels were held in the Manor House at St Pierre during the battle of Agincourt. Valuable silverware returned there 604 years later almost to the day, in October 2009, when the Bandit Trophy was held on the Mathern Course. In 2014, St Pierre becomes the second venue to be used twice for the Bandit Trophy. In 2009, artificial Scotsman Alan McDougall beat Paul Cartwright in what became a 9 hole playoff over the Old Course on the Sunday morning when A-Mac, having come from behind to lead at the turn, declared that "Penny is expecting me home by 2, and its rather windy, so I'm off."

Mac has undergone a tough time since being the losing Dacoity Cup Captain at Celtic Manor last year. Shortly after the event, it was reported that he was allegedly caught out by the so called Secret Milkshake in an undercover sting operation. He appeared to be attempting to sell, at vastly inflated prices, various golf equipment he had purchased online after seeing them on late night golf shopping channels on satellite TV.

When asked whether he had regretted buying the Controller Iron for £56 (free post and packing), Mac simply replied "Who can honestly say they haven't regretted what they've paid for on the internet at times? If it was only a golf club then at least it can't keep calling you."

But during our interview, Mac was bullish about his chances of winning again on his return to St Pierre. "The Bandit Trophy is on the Mathern Course again and I know it like the back of my hand" he boasts. Had he heard about the changes to the course since last time then? "Yeah of course" he says, before adding after a slight pause "what changes?". The first 2 holes on each nine have been reversed so the 10th and 11th are now the 1st and 2nd, and vice versa, I tell him. He fails to see the significance. I point out that this means the first hole is now a short par 4 of just 240 yards. "Oh I see" he says, "You're trying to trick me into trying to drive the green aren't you well I'm not falling for that, there's a water hazard or something - I'm not falling for it."

No water hazard I inform him, just a few bunkers. One in the middle of the fairway but he can easily carry that I assure him. "Really?" he says, and his mind seems to drift off for a minute. "It would be quite a start to the Bandit Trophy" I tempt him - "an eagle!". His eyes glaze over for a second before he returns to the present. "No, you are not catching me out" he says, "3 Wood - middle of the fairway, that's the play - nice solid start."

"Dave Talbot would have a go" I tell him. "Probably Derek too. Hoss can definitely reach."
"Its a reckless shot choice they would be foolish to try it" huffs Mac dismissively. "Golf is about the whole round, not one big shot. My class will show through over 18 holes"
"But everyone knows that you're a big hitter Mac, they'll expect you to drive the green."
"Shut up, its too risky."
"Alright Mac if you're not brave enough to take it on then you're right a 3 Wood is the play"
"Not brave enough, don't you dare, I'll show you, I'll show you all, don't you dare suggest I would wimp out I'll get the Driver out and knock it on in one no problem I don't care how many bunkers there are, I'm longer than any of you, I'll take it on and I'll have you eating your words, you watch me, you'll see."
Can't wait to see it.

A Brief History of St Pierre
The Old Course used to be a deer park, but opened for golf in 1962. It was the venue for the Curtis Cup in 1980, the Solheim Cup in 1996, and the PGA Welsh Masters in 2000. The club has also hosted many European Tour events including the Epson Grand Prix of Europe from 1986 to 1991, and the British Masters on eight occasions between 1971 and 1983.

All of these events mean that despite also including Alan McDougall, the list of golfers who have won tournaments at St Pierre is very impressive, with no less than 6 European Ryder Cup Captains:

Bandit Trophy
2009 Alan McDougall -  Scotland
Epson Grand Prix of Europe
1991 José María Olazábal -  Spain
1990 Ian Woosnam -  Wales
Epson Grand Prix of Europe Matchplay Championship
1989 Seve Ballesteros -  Spain
1988 Bernhard Langer -  West Germany
1987 Mats Lanner -  Sweden
1986 Ove Sellberg -  Sweden
British Masters
1983 Ian Woosnam -  Wales
1982 Greg Norman -  Australia
1980 Bernhard Langer -  West Germany
1978 Tommy Horton -  England
1976 Baldovino Dassu -  Italy
1974 Bernard Gallacher -  Scotland
1973 Tony Jacklin -  England
1971 Maurice Bembridge -  England

A Letter From The Host Venue
3rd July 2014

Dear Mr Ives,
                        I am writing in response to your letter of 15th June. Whilst we at St Pierre do not normally involve ourselves in the specific arrangements of visiting golf societies, I was thoroughly moved by your emotional description of your condition.
 
To be so tragically affected in this way is extremely sad, and I must express my admiration for the determined and stoical way in which you appear to be dealing with it in order to continue to enjoy your life, and golf in particular.
 
I had no idea (and nor did any of my colleagues) that it was even possible for anyone to have such a serious allergic reaction to golf balls, and certainly did not appreciate what a devastating impact it can have on those afflicted.
 
How curious that the only known antidote should be a golf buggy. One wonders how on earth this was even discovered. Still, medical science has advanced so far, it seems there is no limit to human ingenuity. Nevertheless, what an amazingly simple and yet bizarre cure.
 
Even more amazing to me was the revelation that the beneficial effects of the golf buggy in neutralising your symptoms (though you omitted to describe exactly what the symptoms are - I assume they are too distressing) are themselves counteracted by the mere presence of any other buggies on the course at the same time as yours. 
 
However, such is our determination to welcome such an esteemed player as yourself (I did read the blog as you suggested), and such is our pride in hosting the Dacoity Cup, that I will accede to your request to make only one buggy available for the entire weekend, and guarantee you personal use of it for the three days you are staying with us.
 
Furthermore, to save the embarrassment of your fellow competitors, (they sound like truly wonderful companions going to such lengths to avoid drawing attention to your terrible allergy) I will be sure to fabricate an acceptable justification for being unable to allow anyone else to use a buggy for those three days. Even Mr McDougall will be unable to use one until he can produce a Scottish Passport!

I sincerely wish you an enjoyable stay,

Atad Gullyball
Manager, St Pierre Hotel and Country Club


         
 
         
      
        
         
  
         
  
  
     
 
   
         
        
     
 
  
         
         
         

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

2014 Dacoity Cup Teams announced

The teams for the 2014 Dacoity Cup are:

Holders England

Captain - Derek Ives : reappointed after his successful campaign in 2013 at Celtic Manor
Paul Cartwright
Pete Coupe
Alec Hone
Ken Hicks
Stuart Hay


Rest of the World:

Captain - Mike "The Elgin Marble" Dunbar (Scotland)
Alan "Meat Pasty" McDougall (Scotland - disgraced ex-captain after heavy defeat in 2013 and subsequent mail order golf equipment controversy)
Dave "The Other Dungannon Cannon" Talbot - Ireland
Johann "Transit" Van der Merwe" - South Africa
Vidal "Well I lived there for a bit" Brownlee - Spain
Alan "Am I Irish? Ask me twice to be sure" Maloney - Ireland

The Questions:

4 rookies in the England team, only one in ROW - can the more experienced side capture the cup?
Will the England team think of any nicknames for themselves?
Will they be as good as the ones ROW will think up for them?
Which Dave Talbot will turn up?
Can you really play to your handicap using only a 5 iron?
How many meat pasties can you fit in a golf bag?

To find the answers, see you at St Pierre, July 25th.